Emotional intelligence is the ability to know your own emotions, manage them, recognize them in other people and use them to motivate yourself. We all likeI would be smarter and get more out of it.
However, traditionally, traditional intelligence has been valued more, that which is measured with intelligence tests used in schools and institutes. The problem with the capabilities these tests measure is that they are not practical in real life.
However, emotional intelligence is very practical, in fact, it is essential for life. In this article I will show you 7 practical ways for you to learn how to develop your emotional intelligence , whether you are an adult, child or elderly person.
7 practical ways to work your emotional intelligence
We can all be emotionally intelligent, it’s just about putting certain guidelines into practice. Properly using the tools that we have available is the way to achieve it.
Here are some of them:
Identify and manage your emotions appropriately
Always try to recognize which emotion is predominant at a certain moment, especially when you feel bad.
Ask yourself if it is anger or rage that you are feeling, or perhaps uncontrollable anxiety. Those feelings have the same basis and manifest physically in a similar way.
When you have identified what you are feeling is when you can begin to control your emotions.
If you are aware that you feel a lot of anger, you will understand that acting in that state of mind is not going to yield any positive results.
Surely the best thing is to wait for the feeling to pass or diminish and then make decisions and act.
Always try to understand the cause of emotions
This is an exercise that will help you a lot.
It is always worth taking a few minutes to try to understand the cause of your own emotions as well as those of others.
Understanding the why of your own emotions and also of other people helps to understand their way of acting and avoids hasty judgments.
With practice, identifying and understanding the cause of your emotions will become easier. You will decipher certain patterns of behavior more quickly, which will allow you to identify the emotion.
Then you will understand that in situations of sadness for example, you usually react in a certain way. So, when you are clear about this, you can move on to the next step.
Speak freely about what you feel
It is probably easier for you to talk about what you think than what you feel. That happens to most people.
As you talk about what you feel, it will be easier to treat and transform your feelings. When human beings feel happy they do not usually have difficulties expressing it and shouts it from the rooftops.
The problem appears when you are going through a conflict situation and you try to hide your feelings. Although you may not realize it, sometimes you may want to hide what is happening to you and thus prevent others from finding out.
Talking about what you feel does not mean exposing your personal life, it means bringing out what makes you feel bad to analyze and treat it.
A situation that exemplifies the above may be the following: you lost your job for a week. A person from your environment who does not know the news, asks you: “how have you been?” and you answer “very well thank you”.
You are actually lying to them, and if they asked you why you do it, what would you answer? It would be more logical to answer that you have had a bad time because you lost your job, right?
Value and recognize the good of the other
This is something that can cost you a lot since it is easier for human beings to criticize than to recognize virtues in others.
If you see that a known person has overcome a very conflictive situation in a successful way, go ahead and ask them how they did it.
Learn to recognize and take the good from the other. Not only is it a gesture of greatness that will enrich you as a person, but you can capitalize on it in your own experiences.
Stay calm when you feel anger or anxiety
It is not easy but if you do it you will have accomplished a large part of the work.
Achieving control in moments of anger or nervousness is not easy, but when you do, you see good results in a short time.
A friend told you that a co-worker spoke badly about you. Then you feel an uncontrollable rage and you are going to call her to reprimand and insult her, because she has no right to do so. However, that is when you should stop and think clearly.
Perhaps your friend misinterpreted or is using the wrong words. It is best that you talk to your coworker, but when you are calm.
Strive to eliminate the negative
It is better to eradicate negative thoughts and emotions. There are ways to be more positive that you can work on by building a series of habits.
Negative thoughts or feelings only stagnate us and envelop us in a very sick environment. They trigger emotions, such as sadness and anger, that do not bring us anything good.
When a negative thought comes to your mind, immediately try to make a positive sense of it.
For example, you go on the bus and suddenly you think that you are unfortunate that you cannot travel more comfortably in a car. You feel like you deserve it but you still can’t buy it.
Before feeling sad or complaining, think about how lucky you are to be able to afford the ticket to go by bus. There are those who cannot even do it. This is not about being conformist, but about valuing the things that we do have in a fairer measure.
Enjoy what you have while pursuing what you want.
Be grateful to people
Being grateful to life and people will help you feel much better.
When you check the number of reasons why you should be grateful, you will see that you are much luckier than you thought.
If life hits then immediately you complain but nevertheless when something good happens do you appreciate it?
Always consider the possibility of change
Being open to change when things go wrong is a good strategy.
When you have a conflict, the first thing to do is identify the source of the conflict: is it emotional or not? Has something similar happened to me before? Then you can start looking for a solution.
The answers to these questions will suggest the way. If it has happened to you before and you solved it in a certain way, you can repeat.
However, if you didn’t fix it right then change! You will not be sure that it will result, but if you do the same as the previous time then you already know what the result will be.
Change involves risks, and getting out of “the comfort zone” costs. However, if you don’t get out of that circle, you won’t grow. Phrases like “I’m fine like that” “Why change if I don’t do so badly?” This type of reasoning will stagnate you and prevent you from moving forward.
You can be as emotionally intelligent as you want to be, effort is the basis of great achievements. Follow these tips and develop your emotional intelligence, as it will help you be happier.
And what strategy or techniques have you used to develop your emotional intelligence?
What is emotional intelligence?
In recent decades much research has been done on the subject, and among the various studies that of the American doctor Daniel Goleman stands out.
The specialist Goleman defines it through four actions. Being emotionally intelligent is:
Know and identify your emotions
The key point to being emotionally intelligent is that you are able to know what your emotions are.
Being able to identify how you feel when you are faced with certain circumstances is essential.
There are four basic emotions that give rise to all the others: anger, anxiety, sadness and happiness.
Manage your emotions
Have control over them and let it not be your emotions that control you.
Being able to identify them is what allows you to trigger your own control mechanism.
Emotions are the triggers of action. If you are able to motivate yourself, you have the power of action in your hands.
If you can identify and manage your emotions properly, you will not be paralyzed by them and you will find motivation to act, take control of your life and direct it where you want.
Identify the emotions of others
Being able to recognize the different emotions of the people with whom you share your daily life is essential.
It is what is called empathy : the ability to better understand what are the moods that others are going through, identifying yourself with the other in their emotions.
When you can perceive what the other is feeling or what they are going through, the opportunities for good communication and personal relationships improve significantly.
Establish healthy bonds with others
You will feel much better establishing authentic, sincere relationships in which you can express yourself freely.
In addition to this, healthy bonds will strengthen you in the face of your own vulnerabilities, because you will not feel alone in difficult situations.
The best way to confirm that you have understood the concept is to put it into practice and experience good relationships and feelings.
Problems and difficulties are always present in everyone’s life, the key is to know how to handle them so that we can be happy despite everything.